Monday 13 December 2010
♥; A woman
Whops!! Seems like i'm doing it again. haha. Procrastinating that is.
Life, as of today. as in December 13 is pretty much relaxed. And yes, I mean today only.
For the past few months, as mentioned earlier, it really was Hell for me.
Having the most challenging assignments of your academic journey paired with huge life changing house decisions.... not a yummy pair.
However, today (and yes, today only before i change my mind again lol), I'm reallly proud of myself that i've gotten over most of the hurdles.
The ridiculous 10,000 words aimless academic research that we finally, around 10 days prior deadline, assigned a supervisor... is completed. One of my friends told me discreetly that my work was highly credited for and the lecturer would like me and another classmate to aid in a research during the holidays! You can't imagine my ecstasy!!!! :'> Even if the news wasn't true.. well. at least I'm happy over the holidays.
Second thing that I 'm proud of.... is that.. finally, as of yesterday..my house....actually looks like a home :'''''''>
The house has been the number 1 culprit in all my emoness for the past year, and the emotions grew stronger every single day. I'm a person who, frankly speaking, cannot multitask. If i'm focusing on one thing, i focus my all on it. Needless to say, as I was focusing on my studies, I didn't really give a thought to the house. I just let things go it's way.
And more needless to say, I was unhappy with how the house turned out. It's really complicated to list down WHAT were actually complicating the decisions.I wasn't happy with some of the architectural decisions. It's especially annoying when people come in your house and go like. Why is this this way? Oh this seems kinda small. You know, this look dangerous. Well how bout i throw money to your face and you build a perfect house for me???
Moving into a new home isn't easy at. all. period. You would think having your own space to design or what shit is cool. Well, it is, lol. But it's tedious if you live with your family members. Sad to say, i'm either a cbf person, or a perfectionist. If i was living alone (and had a lot of cash). My home would be a contemporary/ modernistic kinda home. However, reality isn't this way.
As much responsibility as i take in the interior, i had to take into consideration the taste of my dad and my grandmother. We went through so many furniture stores. And on each visit, it seems like a different agenda. Matresses... beds.... wardrobes.. dressers.... lightings.. fans.... shelves.... and with all of these, on the back of my head, i had to take into consideration... space.
And yes, when the furniture arrives. You suddenly think this is lacking or that is lacking.. and when you move ALL your stuff into the house. It's such a mess and bad fengshui that it makes you emo all day. But what can you do besides suck it up and get to work.
And work we did, work work work, decisions decisions decisions... and finally, as of yesterday, it finally kinda felt like home to me :'>
There is still a longgg way to go though, there are still many interior input to be done, which, at the moment i couldn't care less, because I'm focusing on the kitchen. I still have yet designed the kitchen counters and cabinets. It's frustrating and fun at the same time because I want it to be functional and practical, yet, I'm not sure if i'm able to do it. A kitchen is one of the most permanent structures in the house and I'm afraid to mess it up.
Together with the house problems, last month, I got faced with one of the most FML moments. It made me feel soooo. angry. sooo confused. I literally wanted to smash someone's face out. It's those stupid scenarios that you see on tv or on the news and you go like wtf and think it'll never happen to you in a million years (no it's not sexually related and not about me). God. I am utterly grateful to have had my sister with me at that time. And. I sucked it up and faced the ugly truths that I left untouched for months. And I'm glad I did it.
I'm glad that i finally grew up over this year and made many life decisions that I never knew I would. Some people have everything done for them. I used to be one of these people, but I'm not anymore. I'm a big girl now :)
P/S: i LOVE koibito, my family, and my dears for being there for me all these while <3